Love Isn't a Holiday; It's a Commitment

 During the month of February, our thoughts to turn to Valentine’s Day. What a lovely holiday! It’s a holiday where love shines through and the warm, fuzzy feelings permeate from within; you feel cared for and appreciated. Those feelings and actions which show you are valued shouldn’t be confined to a specific date on the calendar.

While Valentine’s Day often shines a spotlight on romance, real love lives far beyond one day in February. Love shows up in everyday choices—the decision to listen instead of reacting, to soften instead of hardening, and to stay engaged even when it’s uncomfortable. Whether romantic, familial, or platonic, love requires intention.  You set your mind (and heart) on the intention to love beyond the warm and fuzzy moments. You honor the anchor that you have built by weathering the hard times. I saw a video the other day on Tik Tok where a woman was weeping. In the video she shared that she had just had a fight with her partner. Though her words I learned that she wasn’t crying because of the actual matter which caused the disagreement. She was crying because she was so disappointed in her behavior, in the words she had used in the heat of the argument against her partner. She shared that they might have been able to move beyond their disagreement but for the fact that her words had done irreparable damage. She expressed shame that she had behaved in a way that was uncharacteristic for her.

When I saw the video, I thought of a conversation that I had with my dear Aunt Reva. Once when Nashid and I visited her we spoke about her life. She shared about het prior marriage. During the conversation, my Aunt Reva paused and seemed to become more reflective in her words. She shared that now, many years later, she could not really recall why she and her husband divorced. Aunt Reva’s words suggested that it was never her actions or former husband’s actions which caused the break, but rather the words that were said in anger during the arguments. Once the words were uttered, anger grew, and disgust soon followed.

Relationships don’t thrive simply because people care about each other. They thrive because people “care for” each other. That means nurturing emotional safety, honoring boundaries, and being honest, even when honesty is inconvenient. Love grows best where people feel seen, respected, and valued for who they are, not just who they’re expected to be.

And then there’s forgiveness—the quiet, difficult work that often determines whether a relationship deepens or dissolves. Forgiveness is not about pretending pain didn’t happen. It’s about deciding that the hurt will not define the future. Sometimes forgiveness leads to reconciliation. Sometimes it leads to release. Both can be acts of love.

This season is an invitation to check in. To have the conversations you’ve been postponing. To express appreciation more freely. To repair where possible and to heal where necessary. Love is not maintained by perfection, it’s sustained by presence, humility, and effort.

As we move through Valentine’s Day and beyond, may we remember that love is something we practice daily. The relationships we nurture with care today become the safe places we rely on tomorrow. Most of all remember words can hurt but they can also strip away at the pain and foster true healing and reconciliation.

Lou